People have taken to asking me recently whether I’m okay.
I’m not sure if this is because a) I look like I’ve been burning the candle at both ends (which I have), or b) because I have aged unexpectedly quickly due to a) (as my daughter speculated as only blood relatives can, peering at me after a particularly long day), or c) they are imagining what it’s like to be about to publish your life story and it would freak them out, so they assume (occasionally accurately) that I too am freaking out.
As I have mentioned previously, I have a mental health practitioner, a wonderful psychologist, who I found specifically to address issues arising from the lead up to publication of How to Avoid a Happy Life.
In sessions we go through my fears and hopes, both specific in general. We talk about how I have no control over the reception of the memoir. She reminds me I have done my due diligence on all fronts, getting permissions where I could and removing things, to the extent possible, when I couldn’t, plus getting legal advice of my own just to make sure. She reminds me that my main aim with the memoir is to connect to others who have had similar experiences, and/or for it to be an empathy machine for those who haven’t. And she makes sure that when I get good responses, I pay attention to them.
The wonderful poet and memoirist Maggie Smith (the US poet, not the UK actor) writes about this in her latest Substack offering here. She observes (correctly, I can say at my present level of experience) that publishing a memoir (note: this is distinct from writing it) is equal parts harrowing and joyful.
The most joyful part for me to date (apart from the response from Fremantle Press) was when Gillian O’Shaughnessy, talking on ABC radio (here at 1.43) compared the memoir to Educated by Tara Westover and Frances Farmer’s memoir. She then said, ‘I can’t remember the last time I read such a brilliant memoir.’ Which, coming from Gill, is really something.
Maggie Smith says, ‘Stop expecting the worst’ (sidenote: this is my default position for pretty much everything, based merely on experience) ‘at least as many things could go right as could go wrong.’
In other news
Podcast recording is finished, and is now being edited by Danae Gibson for the audio, and by Chloe at Fremantle Press for the YouTube version. There are not enough words of gratitude for this: more on that at a later date. I’ve heard the first cut of the first episode - called Divorce - which also features voiceovers from Nikki Jones and Zoe Warwick. I can’t wait to share it with you.
I love how reassuring your writing is. How you don’t play the victim card and that you are just so real Julia. It affirms to me that no one ever has experiences in isolation and you proved, thru honest and humour, stories we can relate to. Thank you.
I can’t wait to read it! You are such an inspiration!! Way to go Julia! I have butterflies for you just thinking about it. I expect more wonderful surprises for you along the way! ❤️🙏