G-d, please don't laugh!
Dare I send out intentions for the year?
Happy new year, dearest subscribers!
As you may have noticed, 2024 saw me taking an emotional battering on a few fronts. The combination of releasing a memoir, unexpected job juggling, parental brain tumour surgery, dashing of writerly hopes, John almost dying, chihuahua collapse just before Christmas (she’s now fine, with meds), and John actually dying (with all that brought up) was all a bit much. Add my personal circumstances with the world’s clusterf*ckery on multiple levels, and the shocking death of Brenda Walker, and - well, there’s not much to be said for the year that was (notwithstanding the glimmers that withstood the garbage).
However, I have formed some intentions about what I want to use my time for this year, which I thought I’d share (and I’d love to hear yours).
Embodied writing. I am in the rather pleasant position of not having a specific writing project on the go for the first time in nearly three decades. I have a memoir-facilitating project in the pipeline, and a play co-writing idea on the cauldron, but no deadlines and no novel of my own. I’ve had a daily writing practice for a long time, which incorporates, naturally, some embodied writing principles, but I’m curious to experiment with these more consciously and connect them to my healing practices generally.
Branching out with cello-ly experimentation. As well as the delights of The Awkwardstra, Nikki and I are enjoying noodling about with her Slow Content philosophy and our practice, waiting for our injured violinist to recover and re-join us. After four and a half years of playing, I am starting to, sometimes, be able to express myself through music, just a little. My development this year is about sustained vibrato and bow control. To this end, Nik and I are beginning our experiments with Saint-Saëns The Swan. Stay tuned, as I try to!
Deepening my understanding of Indonesian language and culture. To say that I loved the Bahasa Indonesia immersion I had in Bali in October would be an understatement. It wasn’t only the enrichment I received by seeing, hearing, reading and talking in Indonesian, but also the questions I brought back to my teacher Ibu Wieke that was the reward of four years of learning a new language in one’s 50s. Applying the lessons and seeing how the language worked in real life gave me profound satisfaction. I am keen to travel through Java by train if anyone is keen to come with me, to practice and learn more about the people and the language.
Appreciating the days. This is related to embodied writing. As an anxious human, it’s easy for me to go worrying over each of the pom-pom strands of ‘what ifs’ clustering around each anxious thought. A decade of mindfulness practice has me slowing down and distancing from the ra-ra dance of doom, but it is still a work in progress. The antidote is, as ever, noticing the things that are wonderful. We do not know how long we have to appreciate what existence has given us. But the older I get, the less I want to waste time forgetting to appreciate it.
Speaking of which - I very much appreciate you, dear subscriber!
Dear Julia
Your post is very inspirational! Thank you for continuing to share your journey and you embodied intentions. I admire your focus and I tentatively have chosen a word for the year starting with the first letter of my name.
The word is vitality. I have become more and more inactive the past year and i must get off my duff and strengthen my body before it slips into oblivion.
Once again I must also strive to finish my memoir, sidetracked this year by illness and a move and all the distractions of an ever increasing aged ADD brain working overtime for two.
My firm intention is to once again seek the peace and serenity of the UK countryside, this time in Wales.
Much love as always and many blessings for 2025
Val
… the pom-pom strands of ‘what ifs’ clustering around each anxious thought.
Nice.