It’s official: I’m in my mid-fifties. I hear people often complaining about getting older, but, having been around early death and extended terminal conditions for most of my life, I thank my lucky stars to be here and in sound mind (mostly) and body (ditto).
Life continues throwing curveballs. My dad’s surgery was mostly successful but not without complications, though surviving six hours of brain surgery in your eighties is miraculous enough. I got another ‘just letting you know John is probably dying’ calls on Tuesday, with all its attendant adrenaline-rush and sadness. In actual fact, he is merely in more agonising decline, as the medical system insists on rescuing him from the acute infections that are inevitable in advanced dementia, sending him back to aged care to bit-by-bit starve to death as his swallow reflex slows. On the plus side, the incompetence of the guardian John has had lately has been so egregious that even the aged care facility staff complained, so we have one who seems more suited to working with families whose fucked up dynamics lead to a guardian being appointed in the first place.
However, there are glimmers.
I am lucky to have a beloved, and good friends, and family whose love and support make the tough parts endurable. I’m meeting up today with a friend who I met after we were witnesses in the (as GR called him) Rolf Harris of child psychiatry’s trial: it’s been one of those gifts of friendship coming from an unexpected source. My long-lost brother is visiting next week: it has been nearly twenty years since we met, and I remain grateful for that. And the week after that, I will be meeting up with Dana, one of Carita’s Sydney housemates who lives in the US - with us having not seen each other in the intervening 36 years.
And, I have had my Matt Ottley print framed: it goes very well with Frané Lessac’s Sydney print (which you can see in the background below).
And I have dogs who like dancing. What more could a girl ask for?
You inspire me Julia, you get up when you’ve been knocked down.
The day is coming when the J.saga will be done. I don’t say that with any malice but…..
I pray your beautiful father keeps improving and finds complete health again.
I’m excited for your meet ups with significant people. Having just spent a a couple of days with my long lost sibling, I know the gift that is.
Keep living with “just a number” whilst they accrue, they bring new liberties and learning and I know how much you value life long learning.
I am blessed to be accounted among your friends, you truly are one I value greatly. Xxx